


I'm Sorry

by ClarissaGeorge



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-04-24 05:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19166683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarissaGeorge/pseuds/ClarissaGeorge
Summary: When Keith accidentally breaks Pidge's trust, Pidge uses Keith's memories against him. Unfortunately, it all goes wrong and they are under an attack from the Galra. With Keith's mind and body in a unstable state, will Keith break under the pressure or will a certain blue-eyed Cuban help him through it?





	1. I Didn't Mean To

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hello, yes, tis I. An ass who doesn't finish her stories, but this one will be completed as soon as possible because I am on Summer Vacation so... Enjoy! And I don't own the VOLTRON anything.

“What should I do?” Keith was sitting in his lion. He needed peace and quiet from Lance. It was weird and unexpected, but they had become close. Like friends or something…and then Lance found out that Keith liked guys.

It was like a body-snatcher-Shiro-clone came in and didn’t bother learning how Lance actually was. Lance was cold and he was distant and no longer wanted to hang out with Keith. It hurt though. He was used to it, but it hurt because it was Lance. Then earlier today after almost a pheob (a month) of silence, Lance jumps him.

He starts bawling and apologizing and flirting which was weird as hell, but whatever, go off, I guess. At least Lance was talking to him, but it was too much too fast.

Keith sighed and climbed out of his lion. It’s been 6 vargas (about 8.4 hours) since he’s seen anyone. He landed quietly on the ground, his hip twinging. Grimacing, he started to leave when something on Pidge’s desk caught his attention.

Usually he wouldn’t touch Pidge’s stuff, but something drew him over to her desk. He ran his hand over all of the clutter until it rested on a small box. It was blue and very smooth. Keith picked it up, running his hands over it. There was a small darker blue button on the side. Normally he wouldn’t touch the button, but something in him urged him to push it. He did and it made a soft ‘blep!’ then it was quiet once more.

“Wha-?” Keith started when a bright flash obscured his vision. The flash felt like it rippled through him, but there was no pain. Nothing happened for a few moments, then there was a sharp pain in his temple. He screamed out in pain, falling to his knees. His vision blurred and he felt his stomach lurch.

A cold sweat broke out on his forehead as he dry-heaved. It was agonizing as tears sprung up in his eyes and his throat started to close. It felt like vargas as he lied on the cold floor, his body shaking with cold and heat. The pain spread through him in varying waves.

“Make it stop. Make it stop,” Keith attempted to say, but all that came out were a few strangled gurgles.

Keith was still shaking as the pain ebbed off after a varga and a half. He was still nauseous and dizzy, but he wasn’t in anymore sharp pain. It was a dull ache.

Keith stood slowly, his legs unsteady, and his hands were shaking. He grabbed onto Pidge’s desk, but accidentally knocked a book to the ground. He caught the word “Galra” in big font at the top of th page before it fell to the ground.

Tears from his previous pain traveled down his cheeks as he bent down the retrieve the book. Wiping his face, he flipped through the book.

He hadn’t heard the door open and footsteps walk behind him until they were right behind him.

Smiling, Keith found the page, but a small hand snatched the book out of his hands.

“What were you doing with my diary?” Pidge screeched, her face beet red.

“I-The,” Keith tried to explain, but all that came out was stuttering. He was still shaking and sweating, and it made him look guilty.

“Is that why you were in here? To go through my stuff. Through my _diary_?” Pidge was on the edge of tears and Keith face flushed. He was hot and cold again. His breathing quickened, but he shook his head.

“Get out, Keith. You’re so secretive yourself so I don’t know why you would do this to someone else. To me.”

**Keith’s POV**

‘How could I be so stupid? Of course, I didn’t mean to do that, but why did I have to stand there blubbering. Since everyone found out I was Galra they were mistrustful of me. I mean who wouldn’t be! I’m secretive and I have an awful temper and-,’ I thought before I ran smack into Lance.

Oh, stars above. Lance of all people. I gazed up into his blue eyes, totally missing what he was talking about.

“Huh?” I said, my face steadily getting redder.

“I said, that Coran wants us to do a training exercise, but Pidge wanted to pick what it was.” Lance was acting normal for once. No flirting and no avoiding.

My face immediately paled as I thought about what she caught me doing. Or what she caught me doing, but not in the same context as I have of me doing it.

“Hey. You okay, buddy?” Lance said, a concerned smile on his face. He was the only one, except for Coran, who didn’t walk on eggshells around me, like Shiro did, outright hate me, like Allura did, or try to study me, like Pidge and Hunk did.

“I-I’m fine. I’m just tired.  Need to go to bed.” Lance was silent for a moment before smirking.

“Want me to join you? It always-,” Aaaaand he was back. I tuned him out as I walked back to my room. I was still achy and cold-hot. My hands were shaking, but I wasn’t nauseous anymore, so that’s a plus.

I lied there for a moment before thinking. ‘Why did Pidge have that box? And why did it work on _me_?’

**No POV**

Keith slept for barely a varga when he was woken up by a comm by Coran.

“Paladins, report to the hangout room for a training exercise.”

Coran repeated his message and signed off. Keith took a deep breath and stood up. The room swam slightly, and his hands were shaking a little bit, but all of his other side effects were gone. Keith smiled a little before rushing out of his room.

He got into the room, just as Lance arrived. He was very late.

“Oooh, were you too together?” Hunk jeered. Usually Pidge would join in on the action, but this time she just glared at Keith and held a strange alien headpiece in her hands.

“Well, I don’t want to expose Keith, but-,” Lance smiled deviously.

“We weren’t,” Keith said shortly, sitting down next to Shiro. Allura shifted away from Keith from where she was on the other side of Shiro.

Shiro didn’t seem to notice and clapped his hands together.

“Today we are doing a bonding exercise! One person will stand in the middle with their eyes closed while the other five of us will walk around them. One person in the circle will think of a happy memory and the person in the middle will try to figure out who’s it is and what was the memory. The memory will be displayed on the screen behind us with the headpieces,” Shiro explained. “Does everyone understand?”

There were varying degrees of yes and Shiro clapped his hands together again and smiled.

“Alright, who wants to go first?”


	2. This Was A Very Bad Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, yes. It's me again. I actually have time to update now! Tada! Enjoy!

**Keith’s POV**

Hunk was in the middle and Lance was chosen to have the happy memory. I saw a few memories flit on the screen before one settled and stayed. It was me. I was holding Lance. It took me a few ticks(seconds) to remember where that was from.

…OUR BONDING MOMENT! He said he didn’t remember, that liar. It was in Lance’s point of view obviously, but I definitely don’t remember my face looking like that. It was so domestic, so soft and…I was smiling?

I glanced over at Lance, raising an eyebrow. Lance walked around the circle, concentrating with his eyes closed. ‘Cute,’ I thought, but I tried to keep my mind blank, not to drown out Lance’s happiness.

Hunk took a few doboshs(minutes), but eventually figured out that it was Lance projecting those feelings and uncovered the memory.

Shiro switched places with Hunk and Allura had the memory. It was her with her father in a field of juniberry flowers. Shiro found out that it was her almost immediately and uncovered the memory.

Next was Pidge. I was chosen to have the memory.

And I blanked. What happy memories did I have? I can’t do the same one as Lance. I frowned momentarily before thinking of something from a long time ago.

It was ninth grade and I knew I liked boys. My foster family didn’t really understand, but my best friend did. I thought of him and how we got “stuck” in the locker room that one time when we were skipping gym. We kissed for the first time. My face got hot and tears pricked my eyes as I felt something digging through my mind. Was this how it was supposed to feel? When they uncovered the memory? I let it in. It felt like water. It started moving and suddenly all of these memories started coming forth. Bad ones.

My dad rushing through the fire, finding me, launching me out of the window. My arm and leg being broken. My dad dying in that fire.

Me waking up in a hospital, nobody I knew was waiting for me, only the doctor and a grim-faced social worker.

Me being placed in my first foster home. They’re oldest daughter tried to touch me in places I didn’t want to be touched.

Me being beaten in my fourth foster home. Me running away from that same foster home.

Me being exposed as gay to the entire school in the tenth grade.

Me being beaten up in tenth grade for being gay. My best friend/secret boyfriend abandoning me.

My twelfth foster family treating me like crap, telling me to kill myself and making me take care of their six younger kids.

Me crying in the shower as I held a knife to my wrist. Me crying in the shower with a knife to my-The memories ended abruptly.

Pain hit my temple as snot and tears rushed to drip off of my chin. I didn’t realize I was sobbing until someone pulled me to their chest. It was Shiro. My thoughts immediately flashed to my dad and I pushed away.

“Keith?” Shiro said. I shook my head, stumbling down the hall towards my room. Just as I reached the door, alarms blared.

“Paladins to the Bridge! We’ve gotten a distress signal from a nearby planet.” Coran was panicked. That was never a good sign. I wiped my face and sucked it up. We had to help, and my past couldn’t get in the way.

I rushed to the Bridge and changed into my suit. I caught worried looks from the other paladins and a guilty look from Pidge, but I, we, didn’t have time for that.

I was in my lion in less than 2 minutes. Coran had sent the coordinates to all of us and I would get there first. Not as a distraction, but because I had lives to save.

**No POV**

Keith rushing headfirst into danger wasn’t new, but it was idiotic when the other paladins were almost lightyears behind him.

The other paladins were worried for Keith. He was always closed off and never shared anything, but they just thought he was like that. That _that_ was his personality, but they saw in that first memory that he was cheery. He had a mullet back then, but he was also all smiles and nervous and not that sure of himself when he kissed his best friend. He didn’t wear black or red, it was all blues and greens and the occasional orange.

They dwelled on it for a few moments longer before pushing that in the back of their minds. They had people to save.

When they got to the planet, it was slightly charred, but for the most part it was intact. Then they saw Keith, or more accurately, the red lion.

The red lion took out dozens of ships in mere seconds and was focusing on the big Galra ship from where the smaller ships were from.

The other paladins joined Keith on his attack. There were no words exchanged, but they could feel Keith’s silent rage.

Keith was devastated and worried about what would happen when they got back to the castle. He focused on his rage instead to drown out how upset he actually was.

After damaging multiple cannons, the Galra started to retreat from the planet, but they turned their attention on the Castle of Lions. Keith took a deep breath and saw where smaller ships were coming out of and sped straight into their hangar.

“Keith!” “Stop, what are you doing?” “What the quiznack is happening?” All followed him, but he wouldn’t listen.

He hid his lion behind a couple hundred smaller ships and stealthily made his way through the ship. The Galra ships were all built the same and he remembered where their main base was.

Not long after he got in the hallway, sentries spotted him and started shooting.

“This was a bad idea,” Keith laughed as he threw himself into the fray. “Oh, this was a _very_ bad idea.”


	3. It Was A Good Plan, While it Lasted

**Lance’s POV**

“Excuse me?!” I exclaimed as Keith just entered the enemy’s FREAKING SPACESHIP BY _HIMSELF_. That was the worst idea, I’ve ever seen anyone execute and one time I had a hotdog eating contest, after a milkshake drinking contest, right before I went on a ride called the Stomach Scrambler.

“We have to go after Keith,” Shiro and I said at the same time.

“Lance and Pidge go after Keith. Hunk and I will stay behind and protect the castle,” Shiro ordered.

We voiced our agreements and we rushed into the hangar just as it was about to close. We hid our lions and comm-ed Keith.

“Keith? Do you copy, where are you?” I whispered as we glanced down five separate hallways. Pidge shushed me and pulled up a map. Keith was steadily moving, but there were dozens of heat signatures from where he would be in a few doboshs.

“No!” I whispered before taking off in a sprint.

“I’m going to the control room. Meet me there after you rescue Keith,” Pidge said, through the comm link.

I nodded even though Pidge couldn’t see me.

Following the map, I made a sharp right after running down a long hallway. I collided with a body before we both went down, with a loud ‘clank!’

**No POV**

Pidge crawled through the vents, trying to make it to the control room before thinking of something. She turned around and made her way back to the hangar. She jumped down and ran to her lion. It opened almost instantly, and she grabbed a blue cube. Smiling to herself, she climbed back into the vent and made her way to where the control room was and also where the largest amount of heat signatures was.

Across the ship, Keith had just been tackled by a panicky Lance.

“What the quiznack?” Keith whisper-shouted, as he turned around to see Lance’s face. Lance’s face was a mask of relief as he fell into Keith’s arms in a hug. Keith scooted back to the wall, trying to get away, but Lance followed.

“God, you are so stupid,” Lance sighed, taking his helmet off. Keith followed suit.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Keith retorted struggling to get out of Lance’s embrace, but Lance just held on tighter.

“There were so many heat signatures, you quiznack,” Lance sighed, pulling back and showing Keith the heat signatures. Keith narrowed his eyes. ‘That’s not how you use quiznack’ Keith wanted to say.

Keith was about to reply when Lance covered his mouth.

Lance stood up and grabbed his helmet before helping Keith up. They both put their helmets on, and Lance motioned to the crowd of sentries who were blocking a door. Keith nodded and summoned his shield from his Bayard. Lance summoned his gun. ‘Go!’ Keith mouthed and they sprung out.

Keith went out first, covering Lance. Lance shot the nearest sentries, alerting them of the red and blue paladins’ presence. After they caught the attention of most of them, they ran out into the hallway. As the sentries followed them, Keith changed his bayard into a sword and cut them down as Lance shot the one’s farther away.

Their plan worked until Keith missed a sentry and it shot him in the shoulder. Usually the armor would protect him, but the parts where his shoulders are in the armor were weak shots.

Keith cried out in pain, but finished the sentry off, before faltering and dropping to a knee. His cry of pain, distracted Lance and a sentry shot Lance in the back of the leg.

Alarms went off as sentries surrounded Lance and Keith. They continued to shoot and attack them until real Galra soldiers came through. They called off the sentries and cuffed the Cuban paladin to the Korean paladin.

“Well, it was a good plan, while it lasted,” Lance tried to smile to Keith before they both fell to unconsciousness.

**Keith’s POV**

I woke up to a scraping sound. My shoulders, especially my right one, throbbed. I blinked a few times until my vision cleared. Lance was right next to me, slumped, being dragged by two sentries by his arms with a Galra soldier following us. I didn’t try to move for fear of being knocked out again. I subtly glanced behind me and saw another Galra soldier leading the pack. In total that made six Galra soldiers and sentries.

I bided my time until we started to go around a corner and pushed off of the ground with my feet. The sentries, caught off guard, slackened their hold on my arms and I fell to the ground. Quickly I twisted and ran to the Galra soldier who held mine and Lance’s bayards.

I punched her in the face and hit her with my elbow, swiftly knocking her out, before grabbing my bayard. I turned around a stabbed one of the sentries that had held me ticks earlier. Lance had somehow woken up during the fray. He had gotten loose, and I tossed him his bayard. He also turned it into a sword and sliced through his captors. Their wires sparking as they slid to the ground, dead.

The last Galra soldier charged at Lance who had his back turned. I elbowed him in the face, but not before he stabbed me underneath my breastplate with a dagger. He dropped to the ground unconscious as I took a wheezing breath in.

“We did it!” Lance exclaimed, apparently not taking notice of my injury. I nodded and pushed him ahead of me. I grabbed our helmets, suddenly noticing that they were with a sentry.

“Let’s go, then.” I didn’t want him getting distracted. I’d be fine…I hope.

We stumbled out of the door and ran down a hallway. Something in my mind pulled me to go through an unmarked door. It was a dark hallway, but something pushed me to go forward. I cradled my right arm and walked on. It throbbed dully as I bit my lip to distract me from the agony of my stab wound.

“Keith? Where are we going?” Lance whispered, shifting closer to me. I took in a shallow breath, groaning softly as pain erupted through my lungs. I felt a trickle of blood beneath my suit, but I persisted.

Lance repeated his question.

“I…don’t know,” I admitted as Lance helped me open the heavy door at the end of the dark hallway. Before us were at least three dozen Galra soldiers. They all turned to look at who entered the room and did a double take as they saw us. Bruised, bloody, with helmets in our hands.

I suddenly couldn’t breathe and faltered. I led Lance into a trap. We were going to get killed. It’s all my-A blue box fell from the ceiling emitting a small ‘blep’.

“No,” I whispered as I saw Pidge drop down from the ceiling. It clattered on the floor, nothing happening for a few ticks before a bright flash emitted from it.

We all winced from the bright light and I felt that all too familiar feeling rush through me. Lance looked at me. Dread occupied my stomach, then a sharp pain occupied my head. Through pain-filled tears, I looked up and saw all of the Galra soldiers clutch their heads before they started to drop like flies, crying out in pain. Some stood longer than others, shaking and dry heaving before falling unconscious.

My vision started to swim and I dry-heaved, just like before except now blood trickled through my lips and out of my nose. I heard screaming before I realized that it was me.

“-eith?” I could barely hear the ringing was so loud. I shook and curled in on myself as I got hot lava flashes. The icy-water cold feeling settled in on top of that.

“Stop! Make it-ugh! Stop _please_ ,” I gurgled. My head felt like it was on fire, the dull stinging of the tears in my eyes and on my split lip, distracted me from the pain until another wave rippled through me. My face scrunched up and I groaned, my jaw quivering. My wounds felt like I slowly roasted them in fire and added alcohol. I writhed on the ground until I heard a soft voice, felt a dull pain on the back of my skull, and fell into a blissful sleep.


	4. I'm Glad That You're Okay

**No POV**

Lance refused to get into the healing pod.

“I have to be there when Keith wakes up! I can’t-he’s gonna be confused when he wakes up. I have to be there!”

“Lance, you can’t help Keith if you don’t get better first.” Shiro put a hand on Lance’s shoulder, but he shrugged it off. Wincing, Lance walked to where Keith’s pod was and sat on the ground.

“I’m _fine_ , Shiro! I just need gauze and disinfectant or something. I need to keep Keith company. I know how lonely those pods get,” Lance ranted before sighing and flopping on the ground. “They’re lonely Shiro,” Lance said more to himself than anyone.

“I don’t want to be alone in there and I don’t Keith to be alone in there alone either.”

Shiro smiled sadly at Lance.

“There are people out there who need your help Lance. Keith is one of them and we need you to be one hundred percent, okay?”

Lance nodded at Shiro and glanced at the other paladins.

“Okay.”

Lance changed and smiled softly, before falling asleep and going under.

Lance was under for roughly two quintants (days). It was in the middle of the paladins’ sleep cycle. Lance stumbled out, a little achy and disoriented, but he was feeling one hundred percent.

‘One hundred percent for Keith,’ Lance thought as he slipped out of the suit and into his regular clothes. He padded down the hallway and to his room.  He changed into his pajamas and grabbed his thickest blanket as well as another, slightly less thick, blanket as well as three pillows.

**Lance’s POV**

I dragged the blankets and pillows to Keith’s room. I went in expecting a ton of knives, maybe some black blankets covering the lights. I don’t know, something that looked like the Batcave. I didn’t expect it to be as bare as it was when we first moved in the Castle of Lions. The only change was that there was a knife on his dresser, a thin, blue blanket on his bed, and his signature red and white jacket on a hook.

“This is so sad,” I said, before snatching his jacket off of his hook, taking a change of Keith’s pajamas, and making my way back to Keith’s cryo-pod.

I settled on the floor in front of Keith’s pod and waited for him to wake up.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was being woken up by Hunk.

“Huh?” I glanced over at Hunk. “Is Keith awake?” I exclaimed, jumping up, but Keith was still healing.

“What? No…Breakfast is ready. I made alien pancakes. They taste exactly like them, but they’re a bioluminescent blue and look like scrambled eggs. I’m actually kind of confused about how they turned out that way. Like I flipped them over and then they kind of shriveled-,” Hunk rambled before I cut him off.

“Sounds great, but I need to stay here until Keith comes out.”

“Wait. You aren’t planning on staying here until Keith comes out, are you?”

I blinked a couple times, before adjusting my blankets and nodding. “I am.”

Hunk’s eyebrows shot up almost to his headband, before cocking his head.

“What about food?” He asked, crossing his arms.

“Can you bring it to me?”

“I mean, yeah, but…oh! What about bathroom breaks?” He pointed and pursed his lips. “Or- _or_ your daily and nightly skincare routine? And showering?”

My face drew into a grimace. My skin was already starting to get greasy. I couldn’t go long without my skincare routine. I was still fresh, but I couldn’t go without showring for long. Sometimes I sweat in my sleep.

“I..,” I hesitated before squaring my shoulders. “I’ll guess I’ll have to suck it up. Not bathroom breaks though. I can’t go without those for long.”

Hunk was visibly surprised. His eyes got wider and his self-assured smile faltered.

“You don’t even _like_ Keith. He’s your self-proclaimed rival or at least he _was_ until you ignored him for an entire month. What was that about?”

What _was_ that about? We were starting to be friends, I guess. Then he kind of just randomly said, “Blah blah blah. Yeah, my old boyfriend…something, something, something.” I actually don’t know what he said, but it was something about his old boyfriend and I was like, “What? You had a boyfriend?” And he was like, “Yeah? I’m gay? Were you not aware of that?” Like what? _No_. I had no idea.

“Yeah…go on,” Hunk said, staring at me intently.

“What? I didn’t say anything.” Hunk blinked rapidly, before cracking a smile.

“Dude, you literally just rambled about Keith’s coming out to you.”

Huh. I guess I didn’t say that silently.

“Well, um, I don’t know. It was just weird because Keith and I…we were-I just. I LIKE KEITH-you know! I just, he was gay, suddenly-,”

“He was always gay,” Hunk interrupted, but I kept going.

“And I had feelings, but I thought he was straight, you know, so obviously, I just accepted that he wouldn’t like me back. Like oh, he’s straight that’s fine because there’s always someone else for me. Like I was fine with just being friends, because we were friends because he doesn’t like dudes, right, but he does like dudes!” My chest was heaving by the time I finished.

There was a laughter and I saw Pidge and Shiro standing there. Shiro had a plate of bioluminescent scrambled eggs? And Pidge was holding an Altean camera.

Wow. Okay. Fake friend, much?

“Pidge,” I warned, standing up.

“Well, I have a short home video to show Keith when he wakes up. You should get him one too.”

I started to lunge at her, but Hunk stopped me before I could smash the camera.

“Pidge will delete it, don’t worry,” Hunk said, with a pointed look at Pidge. She sighed and pressed a few buttons, but knowing her, she probably saved it somewhere else.

I sighed and slunk to the floor.

“Coran said that Keith will wake up in about a four quintants. Take care of yourself, Lance,” Shiro said, handing me the food. “Keith won’t wake up without you being here.”

I narrowed my eyes but started eating. It really did taste like pancakes.

**No POV**

Lance took three dobosh (minute) showers and thirty tick (second) bathroom breaks. He always rushed right back to where Keith’s pod was, slightly disappointed that Keith wasn’t awake yet, but not surprised. He did his skin-care routine half-heartedly at Keith’s pod. He got three zits and a patch of blackheads near his nose, but he didn’t seem to care.

By the time the fourth varga came around, Lance was tired. He kept waking up in the middle of the night because of every single little noise that the med bay made.

Lance heard a whooshing sound and groaned.

‘Not again,’ He thought as he rolled over to where the sound was. And then Keith’s pod opened, and Lance stumbled to catch him as he fell out.

Lance grunted as he fell on the ground.

“Keith? Are-are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine. Why are you here?” Keith grunted as he pushed himself out of Lance’s arms and onto the blankets. Lance flushed as Keith looked up at him in surprise.

“Well, I was just waiting for, um, for you to wake up,” Lance said, avoiding Keith’s skeptical gaze. “But, you know, know that you’re fine, I can go back to my own bed. This floor is uncomfortable!” Lance tried to joke, but his laugh came off as strained and uncomfortable.

“Huh,” was all Keith said as he grabbed his jacket, clean pajamas from the little stack that Lance had and changed.

Keith turned to go back to his room, but Lance grabbed his wrist.

“Hey Keith?”

Keith sighed. “What?”

“I’m glad that you’re okay.”

Keith’s mouth twitched into a smile before turning and going back to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, don't hate me because there is so much that needs to be addressed, but most/all of it will be resolved in the last chapter. The fifth one will be long so brace yourselves.


	5. It's Not Perfect, but it's Keith and Lance

**Keith’s POV**

Pidge was walking on eggshells around me. She avoided me the morning (? We’re in space so….) after I woke up. It was fine though. We were never particularly close.

“…Keith?” I looked up to see Pidge and the rest of the occupants of the castle behind her.

I blinked a few times, sitting up straighter (heh) on the couch.

“Yes…?” Shiro came and sat next to me, setting his flesh hand on my shoulder. Oh, this is definitely an intervention. My eyes drifted towards Lance whose face reddened.

“Listen Keith. The…memories we saw when Pidge, uh, dug around in your mind,” Shiro said. Huh, so that wasn’t a normal feeling.  “We’re just a little worried about you.”

I felt myself shrink in. Scratching the back of my neck, I took a deep breath in. I might as well get it out now.

“What, uh, what do you want to know?” My voice wavered, but I covered it with a cough. I made eye contact with Allura who gave me a strained smile. She still didn’t trust me. Looking down at my hands, I could feel everyone’s gaze on me. Then a weight settled beside me. Lance.

 “May I?” I looked at him blankly before he started towards my hand. I flinched and he stopped.

“I-sorry. Go ahead.” Would I have let anyone else do this? I looked towards Shiro, then the rest of the Voltron team. No. I wouldn’t have.

Both mine and Lance’s hands shook as Lance pulled up the sleeve of my jacket only to see unmarked skin except for a long healed thick ropey scar near my elbow. It was from when I broke my arm, I explained. He looked at me confused for a moment. He grabbed my other arm and pulled up the other sleeve to see five small scars all in a neat line. Obviously intentional.

“I, uh, I only did it a few times. It hurt and I thought it made me feel better,” I took a deep breath. “It did, for a while, but it wouldn’t solve my problems.”

**Lance’s POV**

Keith’s face twisted in on itself. I looked up to see Shiro shooing everyone away. Allura seemed to want to protest, but he gave her a stern look and she followed everyone else out.

Shiro nodded to me and I turned my attention back onto Keith.

“What did you do?” I don’t know why I asked that because I was afraid of the answer, but I had to get Keith to talk. Keeping things like that inside was never good.

“You saw, actually.” Tears gathered in my eyes as I realized what he was talking about.

“Oh,” was all I _could_ say. I gathered him into my arms and he immediately hugged me back.

“I didn’t go through with it. I never back down, but with that… I just _couldn’t_ ,” Keith sobbed. I held him tighter. “I didn’t want to die. I _don’t_ want to die.”

It felt like deca-pheobs (years) when by as I held him, but in reality, was only a few ticks.

“I didn’t mean to look through Pidge’s diary,” Keith sighed. “I didn’t know that it was a diary. The blue box just _called_ to me, that seems like a dumb excuse, but it’s not. It really called me and-,”

“What does Pidge’s diary have anything to do with this?” I brushed a tear off of Keith’s face.

“She got angry at me for looking through her diary, but I wasn’t. It fell after that blue box messed made me sick. I was trying to find the right page, but Pidge found me putting it back.”

“Blue box?”

**No POV**

Lance’s face became a mask of cold anger as he remembered the box falling from the ceiling before pidge did. Somehow there was a frequency of something that Pidge tweaked to harm only the Galra species. He remembered her telling Hunk about it a while ago.

“That box knocks out Galra, but since you’re only half Galra, then it must have dulled the effects and made you sick instead.”

Keith’s eyebrows drew in as he felt a headache coming in.

“She did it on purpose?” Keith asked, but shook his head before Lance could say anything. “She might have been mad enough to dig through my mind in payback, but she wouldn’t purposely hurt me. She…She doesn’t hate me, right? Because I’m Galra?”

Lance took Keith’s hands, shaking his head.

“No. She doesn’t hate you. You’re more human than anything.”

They heard the swish of a door.

“I’m sorry Keith,” Pidge said, looking down. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Both times I mean.”

Pidge winced.

“I was looking over footage from the hangar from…,” She trailed off, but Keith nodded in understanding. “I’m really sorry for not trusting. Galra kidnapped my dad and brother and I _know_ that’s not an excuse, but I just kept associating them with you. You aren’t anything like them…except for your stupid, self-sacrificing ways and temper. I know that that’s no excuse, but I really am sorry for everything. I don’t expect you to understand, but I honestly didn’t know that the Galra wipeout box, I’m working on another name, would affect you like that.”

Keith adjusted his position from where he was sitting (which was practically in Lance’s but guess who didn’t mind). The corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

“…I understand.”

Lance’s eyebrows shot up, as did Pidge’s, but nothing more was said.

__ __ __ __

Over the next few Phoebs (months), Keith had nightmares, but Lance was never far away. Lance wanted to be there for Keith in every way possible.

“Keith, hey! Wake up. It’s not real. It’s not real, okay?” Lance said frantically, straddling Keith’s waist. The first time he had tried to wake the Korean boy up, Keith had, in a nightmare-induce panic, flung them both onto the floor. Lance realized that this position was safest for both of them.

“Lance?” Keith said, finally waking up.

“Yeah. I’m here buddy. I’m here.” Lance’s breath quickened and his heart started pounding as Keith’s hands settled on his thighs.

“I-you- I thought you-,” Keith stuttered, starting to become frantic.

“Hey. I know. I’m right here. I’m here.”

Keith calmed and his eyes filled with tears. He took a deep breath, cupped Lance’s face, and kissed him.

There weren’t fireworks or butterflies and it wasn’t perfect, but it was Keith and Lance’s. It was Keith and Lance’s messy imperfect, first kiss, but they didn’t have to be perfect. It just had to be them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Thank you. That's the end.


End file.
